


photography of love

by krltx1



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Basically Ben becomes a photographer just to take pictures of his Rey, Childhood Friends, F/M, Fluffy, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23338192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krltx1/pseuds/krltx1
Summary: “I wish…” tears in Rey’s eyes. “How incredible must be to have someone love you enough to take pictures of you.” Her voice is a sad murmur, Leia strokes the girl’s hair as she notices the heavy tears falling.Ben’s heart aches, as if a sharp knife is slicing it at the middle. His dark eyes starts getting blurry as tears fall, feeling compassion for the lonely girl talking to his mother. He downs a very knot in his throat and shifts his body back to his room, he has seen and heard too much for his own good.As he lays in his bed, he thinks of a way to show Rey that she isn’t alone.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 22
Kudos: 155





	photography of love

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this when I say a tumblr post. Not revised, etc, etc. If there is any mistake, please let me know.

> _“I existed. I was young, I was happy and someone cared enough about me in this world to take my picture.”_

It is a regular Thursday. Not much sun in the sky, and the clouds are a dark shade of gray. In Ben’s living room, two women are there, the room poorly lighten up and the furniture darkens the room even more.

Leia sits in her burgundy chair, it is her seat, that Rey knows. The older woman says it’s her spot because it gives a sharp vision of everything in the room, so she won’t miss anything, not even a yawn.

Rey sits on the floor, her hand keeps moving, feeling the soft fabric of the rug beneath her. The other hand is on Leia’s knee, where Rey rests her face softly and they both are staring to a photo book that Leia is holding.

Ben Solo is hidden at the stairs, observing his mother and the young girl. They can’t see him, but he can hear and watch them very well. He tries, somehow, to make himself as small as he can be.

Rey and Leia are close, intimate of a friendship so dear to both. This photo book, precisely, is of Ben early ages. It is filled with photos of him being held by Leia, by Han, by his family. Other photos he is alone, playing with a large dog. Some photos are close-up of his infant face, of his small eyelashes.

“Han took these…” Leia places her hand, almost stroking the pictures. Her voice so gentle, so warm in Rey’s ears. “Beautiful, huh?”

Ben is still watching, his eyes investigating the situation and comprehending the conversation. Only then, he notices how beautiful Rey is. Big hazel eyes and brownish hair, beautiful features on her face. He never once realized the looks of said girl.

“Beautiful.” Rey agrees, a sadness filled in her eyes and words. Oh, how she wished to have a family like this. It is all she ever dreamt about. Rey is barely twelve, somehow the girl managed to survive all these years alone. She never went to school, but knew how to write and read, and Leia sometimes would give books to the girl who had no parents or family.

Leia met her when young Rey was in a park, alone, late at night. After running away of an awful foster home. Leia took her home, fed her, and found her a place to stay at Maz’s house, who took her in.

“I wish…” tears in Rey’s eyes. “How incredible must be to have someone love you enough to take pictures of you.” Her voice is a sad murmur, Leia strokes the girl’s hair as she notices the heavy tears falling.

Ben’s heart aches, as if a sharp knife is slicing it at the middle. His dark eyes starts to get blurry as tears fall, feeling compassion for the lonely girl talking to his mother. He downs a very knot in his throat and shifts his body back to his room, he has seen and heard too much for his own good.

As he lays in his bed, he thinks of a way to show Rey that she isn’t alone.

_******** _

It is Han’s birthday. Leia had filled the living room with balloons and there was so much food.

Ben was heading down the stairs as he saw Rey, sitting quietly at the couch, her hands on her knees. He never had much conversation with her, especially after the day he eavesdropped her moment with his mother.

Since that day, nothing changed, except his sudden hobby: photography. In his hands, a camera, that he leaves on top of the dinner table.

“Is there anything I can do to help, mother?” he asks, popping his head to see the kitchen. He can see his mother at the oven, finishing to make her famous smashed potato.

“Nothing, all is done, just sit and be nice.” She shushes him out.

His father and his uncle, Luke, enter the living room, making noises as they talk about esports, extremely excited. Rey joins the conversation, shortly.

No one of the three notices him taking a picture. First one is of Rey laughing at Luke’s jokes, surrounded by his father and uncle, a bright smile that could light up an entire city. The second is a zoomed photography of Rey’s face, serious, as she listens carefully to Han’s words.

He gets his mission done. There is so much happening at the living room that he’s invisible, he always been quiet – he never thought it would be his advantage.

**_****_ **

Ben and Rey had turned into friends. Maz works too much, and Leia would let the girl sleep in – so she won’t be alone. They watch film, play together. They are inseparable. Han is suspicious when Rey asks if she can sleep in Ben’s room – says she doesn’t like sleeping in the dark and alone.

But they are still young. They aren’t even thirteen yet. _It’s harmless,_ says Leia, they don’t really understand, but happiness appear in their faces when Han allows.

Han grins and takes her mattress, placing just besides Ben’s bed. Even though he doesn’t like clarity while he sleeps, Ben lets a lamp on. For Rey.

This night was colder than the usual. Ben can’t sleep and hears his friend moving around in her mattress.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, standing up to look at her.

“It’s too cold!” Rey complains. Ben had two covers, so did the girl. He takes one of his covers and hands to her.

“Take it.” She rolls in her mattress, to face him.

“You will be cold.”

“I won’t.” He lays down.

“Thank you, Ben.” He hears Rey softly.

A heaviness in his eyes. He sleeps not long after, a bit cold, but in peace.

**_****_ **

It is Thanksgiving. The smell of turkey fills his nose since he wakes up. The whole house has a different scent, somehow, they seem to make him feel warm. Glad to be alive. He is fourteen.

He is still working on his project to Rey, but now, they are more friends than strangers. His interest on photography grows every day, he spends most of his time studying about it, about exposure, ISOs, white balance. 

But what he likes most is grainy pictures, he loves to see points, flaws in pictures. He knows that most photographers are not fan of said style, but he has grown used to it. It also makes the photos look… warmer. More familiar. Almost older. His chest still pounds when he hears Rey’s laughter.

**_****_ **

It’s Ben’s birthday. He doesn’t like birthdays. But feels compelled when his mother asks if she can invite family. Rey is there, Lando, Chewie, Uncle Luke. Everyone gathered and talking so happily at his birthday.

Rey makes it bearable. He only agreed with this because Rey desperately begged him. He couldn’t say no to her.

His interest in photography has became a part of him. His father gifted him an analogical camera and Ben fell in love with it – he always preferred the colors on film.

He is taking pictures of everything when Rey approached him.

“Hey, happy birthday, boy.” A grin in her smiles. He quickly takes a picture of her before she can do anything about it. “Hey!” She frowns.

“Sorry.” He replies. “And thank you.” She hugs him and hands a cup of soda to him.

**_*****_ **

Ben is sixteen. Some days are difficult for Ben to get up. He wants to, but his body doesn’t want. He stays there, his mother comes knocking, asking if he wants food, a cup of water, a hug, a shoulder to cry to. He says he’s fine, but she knows.

His father quickly visits, concern on his face when it’s 6pm and his son hasn’t left the bed.

Guilt emerges, because he know his family is worried and he’s fine, he’s just too tired. Exhausted. No energy on his bones.

It’s 8pm when someone knocks at his door. It’s Rey. She has a plate with grilled cheese on her hands, she doesn’t say anything except throws herself at the feet of his bed. She stares at him. The door is open, the light from the corridors invading his dark room.

“Please, eat.” Her voice carrying a softness. He rolls in bed, pushing the cover on his face. Rey sighs, he could feel her concern. Guilt floods him again.

The next thing he feels is a warm body next to him. She hugs him and stays.

“ _I’m here.”_ Rey whispers.

Ben wondered if she could hear his heart pounding.

_Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum. Tum._

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

_*****_

Rey was there the first time he goes into therapy. Leia and Han drove, but he asked if Rey could wait for him at the waiting room. She was there when he walked in.

When he left the session, she was there, smiling brightly as ever. He sighs in relief.

_******** _

There isn’t anything especial today. No birthdays, no holidays, but Rey is in his house. He sees her through his window, she noticed him too, and she acknowledges it with a small nod and faint smile. He does nothing.

They have talked a bit, but Ben was always too shy to engage in his conversations with her. And Rey felt like they weren’t quite as friend as before. Something changed.

Later, he can hear them laughing at the garden. He runs to the windows, to see what is happening. She is helping Leia to plant some beautiful roses.

He grabs his camera quickly and takes three shots. One of them together quietly digging up a hole to plant. A zoomed picture of his mother holding a plant, and other of Rey very concentrated as she finished planting.

He thinks someone could think of him as creep. Taking pictures of people without them consent. Guilt corrupts his heart. He shouldn’t be doing this.

He opens a photobook. Empty spaces, but in his calligraphy beautifully written:

_For Rey_

_You are not alone._

Ben sighs, unsure of what to do next. His heart being burdened, aching, as compassion fills his whole body. He existed. He was young. He was happy and someone cared about him enough to take pictures of him.

Rey existed. She was young. She was happy and he cared enough about her to take pictures of her.

A lonely tear drops on his cheeks. Ben Solo is older now, not much older than Rey but even taller, but why does he feels so small and this misery seems to big enough to consume him?

**_****_ **

It’s Rey’s birthday. She is making fifteen. She asked Maz if she could celebrate at the park – she loved being around greenery. Loved the outdoors.

Rey wears a bright yellow dress and her hair is in her three little buns. Surrounded by her new friends, Finn, Rose, Connix. He is here, but there is distance between them – it isn’t the same, but his heart still wants to leave his body when she smiles and when she says his name.

Photography is still his company. He takes one of her and her friends, she alone with his parents.

Han demands a picture of them together. Ben isn’t sure of it, but Rey grabs his hand, so they can stand side by side. He has grown taller than her. He smiles softly, barely noticeable. She puts her hand on his forearm as Han is screaming “ _Cheese!”,_ she kisses him on the cheek, so softly and sudden.

The touch of her lips lingered even after she left. It felt like she had made her mark on his very soul.

**_****_ **

They are better now. The distance is gone, except Ben is going away for college and she isn’t.

She comes to his house the day he’s going away. It isn’t far but isn’t across the street anymore. Rey has tears on her eyes. Ben had them too, except he was alone when they appeared.

“And you take care.” She says, as she points her index finger into his chest, almost sounding angry, but it’s her way of showing concern. “Remember to eat and sleep.” He hugs her. The top of her head resting perfectly under his chin. She embraces him, her arms around his waist. Tight.

“I will.”

He fights the urge to cry. It seems impossible, but he manages. He asks if he can take a picture of her before he leaves. She doesn’t understand but lets him.

She sits at the stairs just by the entrance of his house, places her hand on her knee and her chin rests at the palm of her hand. Her eyes shining because of the tears, slightly red. He grabs his analogical camera and takes one picture.

She looks beautiful and the lighting is simply perfect, softly touching her skin.

He thanks her and heads to say goodbye to his parents. If he looks at her one more time, he may just not leave altogether.

**_****_ **

Ben was on his spring break. A rush of courage on his bones. He’d do something. Seeing Rey, after so long, oh, it was the best feeling he felt.

When she hugs him, he thinks he’ll melt at her embrace. He says he wants to go the park, on his secret location – a bench far away, next to a tree that gives a beautiful shadow to rest.

She sits beside him, afraid, her eyes widened.

“I need to tell you something.” Ben says.

“Come on, say it.” Rey replies anxious. She’s concerned. Ben thinks he will faint any second now. His legs shakes constantly.

“I like you.” Rey frowns.

“I like you too, Ben, you are my best friend.” A laughter follows in her lips. No. She doesn’t get it.

“No.” he says looking at her. “Not that kind of liking. _Another type._ ” He looks away, too afraid of the answer in her eyes.

His whole world is spinning, he’s afraid it will ruin everything. That he would ruin everything. His heart is ready to break in a million pieces. She grabs his hand strongly.

The next thing he feels is her hand pulling his face and her lips pressed into his. _A wonder of wonders._

His heart combusts in happiness, pounding so much on his chest, it just may feel like a thousand firecrackers are there.

********

It is their wedding day. Ben is standing by the altar, his family next to him. He can see Rose, Finn, Maz, all gathered on the other side. He is anxious, sweat on his palms.

It is a beautiful afternoon, the sun is setting, so everything glows of a soft orange. The wedding is in the park Rey loves it. He feels the strong hand of his father on his shoulder. He closes his eyes, enjoys his presence. His beloved father.

When he opens, and looks, she’s almost there. At her side, it’s his mother, giving a proud smile at her son. Ben sighs deeply, his father's hand isn’t on his shoulder anymore, he thinks of running to him, just to ask for him to never leave his side again, like a kid.

But he can’t keep his eyes off of Rey. She is always beautiful, but white it’s her color. She is the most beautiful Ben has even laid his eyes upon. Her dress is simple, her brownish hair is down, and she walks together with his mother.

He can’t help but cry at the sight of it, biting his lips in a failed tentative of keeping together. She walks slowly, but it feels like the whole word is in another speed, and soon, Leia is taking his hands with a hard squeeze and the softest look on her eyes. The squeeze made him sure this isn’t a dream.

He takes Rey’s hand like an instinct, part of his nature.

When she stands by his side, he can’t quite grasp the moment. He knows it’s true, but he can’t fathom. His heart could easily leave his body, as it pounds, and pounds. I love you. I love you. I love you, it says repeatedly.

When the ceremony ends, he takes his camera and asks.

“Can I take a picture?” She nods, used to, now, her husband asking for a photography.

The smile she gave was unique. He only saw it two times. This day and after their first kiss. It was soft, gentle and loving.

_******** _

When Rey is pregnant, he makes sure to take a picture of every stage of it. He wants to savor and remember every step of it. Remember how her belly changes sizes.

It’s a boy. Ben never thought of loving other person besides Rey, but the look on his face when he held his son made him aware of how much love he still had to give.

He holds his child on his arms, it’s one of most precious things he has. He looks at her, still tired, but awake after labor. It is the same look on her eyes. The same of the wedding day.

Ben and her son. The two love of her life. Her family.

****

Ben takes Rey’s first picture with her son. She isn’t looking directly to him, her eyes are fixed into the child, love pouring out of her eyes.

That night, he places the last picture on his photobook.

“Sweetheart,” he says climbing down the stairs. “I have something for you.” The photobook on his hand. She looks to her husband, a frown on her forehead.

“What?”

He takes the child into his arms and hands her the photobook.

She opens and see his calligraphy, perfectly and beautifully written.

_For Rey,_

_You are not alone._

At the first sight of his very first photo at Han’s birthday. At his birthday. At her birthday. So many Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Years Eve. And random days. So many of them. Her eyes pouring salty water.

“What? How?” Her words scrambled.

“I am yours. How incredible it is to love you and to take pictures of you.” His voice clear was crystal, strong and loving.

A click on her mind, she remembers the night with Leia and how lovely she felt, so alone that night. It changed the day she became friends with Ben. She never once thought she was alone. He was her family, even before they built one.

His heart wasn’t pounding, no. It was tranquil and calm. Oh, to be holding his child and having half of his soul by his side… The greatest gift she could give him. His heart remains soft and calm, and she rests her body on his sides, while their eyes are fixed into their child.

He closes his eyes, resting his head. Rey clasping her hands into his. Holding his child.

_Family._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm glad to give him a beautiful ending. I miss Ben Solo. Always think of how different his life would be. Rey too. So I want to give them all kinds of happy and domestic endings. No more angst for them.
> 
> (New edit: Thank you for everyone that likes and left a kudos. It means the world to me that you guys enjoyed a bit of my writing. I'm brazilian, and sometimes I struggle to find the right words. But I don't know, man, you guys make my day when I see someone left a comment. I wanted to thank again.
> 
> My Tumblr is losingthestarwars.tumblr.com, if anyone wants, I don't know. Stay safe.


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